I'm pregnant. I am pregnant.
Last Monday, the 26th, my period was one day late. That is pretty rare for me. If my LP is different, it is shorter, not longer. I was slightly excited about this when I woke up that morning and saw that my period didn't start over night. I asked J if he thought I should test, since I was scared to but interested to see what would happen. He said "Let's see what happens today and test tomorrow morning if you haven't started yet." I was happy with that.
I went through my day and couldn't help but notice that I didn't feel like I usually do right before my period starts. It felt similar, but not exact. I was getting excited, really excited. I called J to share my excitement. He started to feel it too. About an hour before I was to head out to meet my mom and sibling's families for a drive in movie night, I started spotting. It was out of the blue and instantly broke my heart. The spotting was my normal pre-red flow spotting, brown, yucky, a decent amount, and left a hopeless feeling I've felt many times before. I called J in tears. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. We hugged and cried when he got home. He told me how tired he was, how exhausting this process is. It broke my heart all over again.
While I was at the movie, my sister (and everyone else) knew that I was unhappy. She always knows where I am in my cycle since I have confided in her a lot and knew why I was upset. We talked, I cried, and she told me what our next steps might be. After talking, I started to move past it. I started to look forward to our follow up RE appointment on Thursday and was looking forward to knowing our plan of action. Before leaving the theatre, I went to the bathroom. My no more spotting. Great, I thought, I can't even count today as cycle day one. I hate my body.
I woke up Tuesday morning and to my surprise, I had no red flow. I didn't even have any spotting. Before I even peed, I stuck my head out the bathroom door and told J that nothing was happening yet. He was putting his work shoes on and said "Why don't you just test just so we can get it out of our heads". I told him that I really didn't want to be the crazy girl who thinks she's pregnant even though her period started. But I knew that I would drive myself crazy thinking about testing if I didn't bleed for the rest of the day.
I grabbed my cheap dollar store test and got my trusty pee cup out. I watched the stick absorb, just like I did many times before. But, as I watched, I thought I saw something start to develop. I walked, ok, ran out of the bathroom to J who was packing his lunch in the kitchen. I told him that I thought "something might be starting to develop on there!". We waited a few minutes then decided to check it together. Just before we walked in I said "There is probably nothing there, lets not be disappointed". We took a glance and sure enough, there was a line. I picked it up and my hands were shaking so much that I couldn't even see the line anymore. Once I stabilized myself we saw our clear, beautiful line. I shouted "There's a line! That's a line! I'm pregnant!". We hugged and I hysterically cried. We looked back at the test and J had a closer look. The line was clear but light. J wasn't completely convinced. I ran to get the FRER I had been saving and dipped it in. We watched it develop and the test line and control line started developing at the same time and the test line ended up being just about as dark as the control. J believed it then. He then texted his boss, who knew we were having trouble "B is pregnant!!! I'm going to be late!". We then quickly made a plan of what to do next. I was supposed to hang out with my mom all day and couldn't hide this incredible news from her (more on our announcements later). J sped off to work, I called my RE ("Hi, I just got 2 positive pregnancy tests. What do I do next?!"), then got ready. I sped off to pick J up from the shop and off we went to announce our pregnancy.
We couldn't believe it. We did it. After 13 cycles, we did it. I am pregnant.
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