Sunday, 13 October 2013

10 Weeks plus some...

Ok, I'm really sucking at this. I will get better, maybe. 

How far along: 10 weeks 5 days

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Who steps on a scale willingly?

Maternity clothes: Nope

Stretch marks: none

Sleep: Still exhausted and sleeping like it's my job, other than having to get up and pee. 

Best moment last week: Henry has started to curl up right next to my stomach in the morning for snuggles. The first time he needed to have his head right where the baby is. Even if I moved, he would adjust himself so that his head was right there. It was so sweet and cute and I love morning snuggles with my first baby. Coincidence? Probably. But I'll tell myself that he knows something is going on in there. 

Movement: Lots of gas movement. 

Food cravings/aversions: Just an aversion to how the fridge smells. Yuck. 

Other symptoms: I threw up this week for the first time. It happened in the morning, when I got a whiff of the fridge. I'm thrilled that I don't do that every day. I had a brutal headache/almost migraine on Wednesday night/Thursday morning too. I thought I could sleep the headache off since I don't really want to take pain meds right now. It didn't work and I won't try that again. 

Gender: Girl?

Labor signs: nope

Belly button - in or out? In, of course

What I miss: Ummm, nothing. I'm good.

What I am looking forward to: Going public this week. 

Milestones: I am for sure able to feel my uterus now. The bump is not visible but I can feel it. So can J. It's there and I can tell it is growing. It's cool to feel and know that our baby is in there. 

Monday, 30 September 2013

9 Weeks

How far along: 9 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Probably 38 pounds of water weight

Maternity clothes: Nope

Stretch marks: none

Sleep: I'm so tired all the time. I have zero energy and I sleep like it's my job.

Best moment last week: Ultrasound! It's insane how much baby had grown in two weeks. The heartbeat was strong and beautiful (174) and everything looks great. 

Movement: Nope

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing specific. 

Other symptoms: the tiny bit of nausea has seems to disappear. My boobs are killing me, I'm so tired, and the bloating is unreal. I'm not liking looking fat all the time. I can't wait until I have a real bump!

Gender: Girl

Labor signs: nope

Belly button - in or out? In, of course

What I miss: Ummm, nothing. I'm good.

What I am looking forward to: A real bump!

Milestones:  baby is a fetus now! Yay

Friday, 27 September 2013

8 Weeks

Oh yeah, I forgot that I write a blog....

How far along: 8 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: No change

Maternity clothes: I bought a top this week, don't need to wear it yet though.

Stretch marks: nope

Sleep: I'm so exhausted and am sleeping like a rock.

Best moment last week: Still being pregnant!

Movement: Nope

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing specific. I couldn't taste bacon the other day which was weird, and sad. 

Other symptoms: I started to get a bit of nausea this week. It's not terrible but still yucky. I feel so sad for people who have bad morning sickness, it must be brutal. I'm exhausted and bloated too.

Gender: Girl

Labor signs: nope

Belly button - in or out? In, of course

What I miss: Not being exhausted all. the. time.

What I am looking forward to: My appointment with my midwife on Tuesday.

Milestones:  still being pregnant!

Monday, 16 September 2013

Week 7

How far along: 7 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: No change

Maternity clothes: nope but I am stocked up with gift cards from my birthday to buy whatever I need to buy when the time comes. 

Stretch marks: nope

Sleep: I'm sleeping really well, usually right through the night. I am starting to get some pretty realistic dreams now though, including one about a tornado that left me scared to death. 

Best moment last week: Seeing our tiny little baby for the first time. Although the baby really doesn't look like much at all, it is our baby, we made it, and I adore it. We saw the tiny flickering heartbeat and I at that moment it clued in to me that this is happening for real and I am going to be a mom. I cried. 

Movement: Nope

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing really. The idea of food isn't very appealing but I have no problem when I actually eat. 

Other symptoms: I am tired. Even when I wake up after a full nights sleep, I am tired. My boobs are killing me. They are more than just sore, they feel almost crampy. It's weird. I've also had a few episodes of a shooting pain on my lower right side. I don't like it!

Gender: No guesses yet

Labor signs: no

Belly button - in or out? In, of course

What I miss: Nothing really, life is pretty much normal. 

What I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound on the 24th, telling my grandma about the little one, eating the piece of pie that is in our fridge right now. 

Milestones: The heartbeat. I love that heartbeat. 

Monday, 9 September 2013

6 weeks

Since this blog serves mostly as a journal for myself, since I don't think anyone actually keeps up with this, I want to document as much as I can so I have something to look back on through this important part of my life. I've tried writing in a journal before but haven't ever been able to keep up with it. I've had a lot more success with an online format. So althought I have a lot of other things to update (like the awesome reactions our families had to the news), today's post is the start of my weekly pregnancy progression questions. Hopefully I will remember to answer these questions every Monday throughout the next 8 months.

How far along: 6 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Who knows! I have been eating a lot better over the last 2 weeks and aside from my bloated tummy, I feel like I've lost weight because of my new eating habits.

Maternity clothes: Nope. Since I haven't started working yet, I haven't had to wear real clothes yet (things without elastic waist bands) but I think when I do I will have trouble doing things up because I'm so bloated.

Stretch marks: nope

Sleep: More often than not I have to pee in the middle of the night and then can't get back to sleep for a few hours. Sometimes I sleep right through the night though, like last night. Yay!

Best moment last week: Since I'm still basking in the excitement of being pregnant, everything was the best last week. I'm really, really, very happy.

Movement: Not for a while.

Food cravings/aversions: Craving savoury foods. I love red onions. Don't really have any aversions.

Gender: No guesses yet

Labor signs: Umm no, not so much

Belly button - in or out? Very much in

What I miss: Sleeping through the night.

What I am looking forward to: Ultrasound tomorrow! I really want to see that heartbeat.

Milestones: Morning sickness has started. 

Sunday, 1 September 2013


Ok, so this happened:
Yeah, it did. For real. 

I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. 

Last Monday, the 26th, my period was one day late. That is pretty rare for me. If my LP is different, it is shorter, not longer. I was slightly excited about this when I woke up that morning and saw that my period didn't start over night. I asked J if he thought I should test, since I was scared to but interested to see what would happen. He said "Let's see what happens today and test tomorrow morning if you haven't started yet." I was happy with that. 

I went through my day and couldn't help but notice that I didn't feel like I usually do right before my period starts. It felt similar, but not exact. I was getting excited, really excited. I called J to share my excitement. He started to feel it too. About an hour before I was to head out to meet my mom and sibling's families for a drive in movie night, I started spotting. It was out of the blue and instantly broke my heart. The spotting was my normal pre-red flow spotting, brown, yucky, a decent amount, and left a hopeless feeling I've felt many times before. I called J in tears. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. We hugged and cried when he got home. He told me how tired he was, how exhausting this process is. It broke my heart all over again. 

While I was at the movie, my sister (and everyone else) knew that I was unhappy. She always knows where I am in my cycle since I have confided in her a lot and knew why I was upset. We talked, I cried, and she told me what our next steps might be. After talking, I started to move past it. I started to look forward to our follow up RE appointment on Thursday and was looking forward to knowing our plan of action. Before leaving the theatre, I went to the bathroom. My no more spotting. Great, I thought, I can't even count today as cycle day one. I hate my body. 

I woke up Tuesday morning and to my surprise, I had no red flow. I didn't even have any spotting. Before I even peed, I stuck my head out the bathroom door and told J that nothing was happening yet. He was putting his work shoes on and said "Why don't you just test just so we can get it out of our heads". I told him that I really didn't want to be the crazy girl who thinks she's pregnant even though her period started. But I knew that I would drive myself crazy thinking about testing if I didn't bleed for the rest of the day. 

I grabbed my cheap dollar store test and got my trusty pee cup out. I watched the stick absorb, just like I did many times before. But, as I watched, I thought I saw something start to develop. I walked, ok, ran out of the bathroom to J who was packing his lunch in the kitchen. I told him that I thought "something might be starting to develop on there!". We waited a few minutes then decided to check it together. Just before we walked in I said "There is probably nothing there, lets not be disappointed". We took a glance and sure enough, there was a line. I picked it up and my hands were shaking so much that I couldn't even see the line anymore. Once I stabilized myself we saw our clear, beautiful line. I shouted "There's a line! That's a line! I'm pregnant!". We hugged and I hysterically cried. We looked back at the test and J had a closer look. The line was clear but light. J wasn't completely convinced. I ran to get the FRER I had been saving and dipped it in. We watched it develop and the test line and control line started developing at the same time and the test line ended up being just about as dark as the control. J believed it then. He then texted his boss, who knew we were having trouble "B is pregnant!!! I'm going to be late!". We then quickly made a plan of what to do next. I was supposed to hang out with my mom all day and couldn't hide this incredible news from her (more on our announcements later). J sped off to work, I called my RE ("Hi, I just got 2 positive pregnancy tests. What do I do next?!"), then got ready. I sped off to pick J up from the shop and off we went to announce our pregnancy. 

We couldn't believe it. We did it. After 13 cycles, we did it. I am pregnant. 

Friday, 2 August 2013

What I Learned On My First Camping Trip

It is actually fun

The vacations I've always taken have been much different than camping. I am typically always on the go on vacation. I HAVE to go swimming, we HAVE to get up early and walk on the beach, lets go walk along the pier, we must not spend any time just sitting around the condo, lets go, go, go. Well, camping wasn't like that. Camping was about sleeping in, napping in the tent, reading on the dock, playing cards, etc. It was laid back and relaxing. I told J that we need more of that in our lives. We need to just sit and listen to nature, and be unplugged more often. Hanging out was fun, hiking was fun, swimming was fun, making the site our home was fun, everything we did was way more fun than I was expecting and I liked it.

I am afraid of night time
J was face to face with a bear at this exact spot 10 years ago. 

Upon checking in at the front office we were given a pamphlet about the wildlife that can be found within the park. I learned all about bears, cougars, wolves,coyotes, and rattlesnakes and what we needed to do to protect ourselves from them. Hey here's a good idea, lets go way out in the bush that is infested with scary animals and sleep in a thin nylon room. I did pretty well dealing with the idea of living with blood thirsty animals through the day. I did watch my feet every step I took as we were hiking because I just knew I would have an encounter with a rattlesnake. I was however, very anxious at night time. J told me that it would be very likely that we would have raccoons wandering onto our site at night while we were hanging out. He also made sure that I knew what to do if we saw a bear wandering around. Now J doesn't worry about very much, so when he shows any amount of concern, even if it is as simple as being prepared for a situation, my anxiety level shoots up. If he is worried about something then I need to be a million times more worried. I survived the first night, but didn't sleep well at all. I was scared by every sound I heard, even though most of the noises came from Henry. The second night was much better. But, the third night was windy, very windy. Every sound was a bear about to bite half of my head off, but I survived. We didn't see any wildlife other than squirrels, birds, and two non-rattlesnake snakes.

Camping changes puppies into dogs

Ah, that little face.

Last year we headed up to the same area for a day. Henry was about 4 months old at the time and dealing with him was horrible. He hates swimming, hated it. He acted like we were trying to kill him when we brought him close to the water. It was brutal. Before we went camping he wasn't the best on his leash, He still pulled, and tried to jump on anyone with in a 10 foot radius. Since he is still just a pup, I never dreamed of him being able to function off leash in public without running away, never to be seen again. He had random bursts of trying to eat rocks and he hated being on his tie down because he couldn't do whatever he wanted to do and he was always, always getting tangled up.

And then we went camping. All of a sudden, the guy couldn't get enough of swimming. Even when I could tell he was tried he still needed to be in that water. He was fearless and loving his life. He swam off leash. This crazy puppy was off leash in public and he didn't run away. I didn't think that was possible. He walked like a normal dog, even when surrounded by tons of people and other dogs. People kept stopping us to say hello to him and tell me how well behaved he is. That has never happened before. He didn't try to eat rocks, or anything else for that matter. He walked for a few hours with us on a long, hot hike without whining. He didn't even bark like crazy at the strange sounds he was hearing through the night (other than the first night before we settled into the tent). I was anxious about bringing him along with us. I was thinking that he would be really difficult to deal with and that we would regret bringing him because he would require so much attention and cause so many problems. Boy was I wrong. It was so much fun having him with us and I would be so sad if we didn't get to experience all that we did with him. All of these behaviours have also translated to better behaviour at home. Our walks are so much more enjoyable when I don't dread seeing other people approach us on the trail because Henry would freak out. He is a dog now.

Ontario is stunningly beautiful

Ok, I knew this one already because we have been to this area many times. It is amazing up there and I feel really lucky that we live about 2.5 hours away.

Vacations do wonders for forgetting about infertility
We started a new tradition. About 2 years ago J and I took a picture just like this in this same spot. We decided that when we have a new member of our family, furry or otherwise, we will retake this picture. Hopefully next year we will get to retake this picture again.

We left for our adventure at 4dpo and I didn't temp while we were away. It was glorious. I didn't think about it at all. For the first time in a long time I felt completely normal. I felt like I did a year ago before we started trying. I didn't think about our impending RE appointment, I didn't think about pregnancy symptoms, I wasn't depressed by my inability to achieve the most important goal I have in my life. I was me again and I was happy. And then we got home and life came back.

We have to be better organized
Thank goodness for headlights and free hands. 

Camping is a lot of work. There is so much to bring along to make sure that we are fully comfortable. And trying to make a full meal, outside, using a propane stove and fire in the dark is difficult. We didn't plan our time as well as we could have and all of our stuff needed to be better sorted. We spent a lot of time looking for stuff and a lot of frustrations came from that. As much as I liked camping I would have liked it so much more if it wasn't so difficult to function when trying to do anything.

I am obsessed with covering Henry with blankets
It was cold, really cold. He is cute, really cute.