My least favourite part of my cycle is coming to an end, hopefully. I hate waiting to ovulate. It's just so boring. It used to be better, but now that I'm really tired of baby making sex, it's not so fun anymore. I feel stressed from the time my period ends until I get crosshairs. I worry about our timing. I always think that I am going to ovulate way early or something and totally miss my fertile days. I'm always scared that I will mess up the only thing I have control of in this whole process. Hopefully I will ovulate by the weekend and then start to make up some pregnancy symptoms.
I'm starting to not be hopeful for my cycles anymore. At the start of every cycle I used to calculate when my approximate due date would be, when I would be able to tell our families, how pregnant I would be for upcoming events and so on. Now, I don't even think about any of that because I feel like it won't pan out. Why try to calculate things for no reason? Now instead of thinking "This might be it" all I can think is "Why would this be it?". I try to be positive but it's hard to be positive when nothing positive has happened over the last 8 cycles. Ugh, I guess I just have to keep on keeping on.
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